Coconuts

So, today Lucas goes out to the shops to get some food after he comes back from doing what ever he does best - and god only knows what that is - and I ask him,quite politely, might I add, to get get me something nice to eat, maybe some chocolate, or some fresh summer strawberries, or mint choc ice cream. When he finally returns home, he opens up his bag, pulls a single coconut from the plasticy depths and lays it down on the side rather triumphantly. Which then begs the question:
"What the fuck is that?"
For a moment he stares at me as if I'm slightly simple, then replies in his irritating, whiney yet somehow slothish voice "A coconut..."
"I gathered," I say. "But where is the something nice I asked you get?"
"This is the something nice..."
"And how exactly am I supposed to get into this?" I probe, somewhat exasperatedly.
"With a chizzel!"

Now, I don't know about you, but I don't have chizzels just lying about my house, and, over the years, I have come to learn that anything that requires a chizzel to get inside of it is worth neither the time nor the effort. Though, I am in no position to argue, seen as at that point in time I am wearing my summer pijamas that always succeed in riding up my arse whenever I walk and have curlers dotted about my head in an attempt to make my hair have atleast some degree of wave in it before I go to see the last Harry Potter movie - not exactly shop-going material.

So now, I have a lonely coconut stagnating on my side as it will probably do for the next year and a half until I can find a decent enough boyfriend who will, no doubt, chuck it away the second he lays eyes on it.

I guess I can always dream, right?

Have a fun life
Lex
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